On Alcohol Regulation

Whoever it was in America who decided to set the legal drinking age to 21: thank you for making my life as a restaurant employee unnecessarily complicated.  A few years of age does not, never has, and never will determine responsibility.


Establishing taboo appeal for alcohol does not diminish alcohol-related injuries, car accidents, fights, and so forth.  We make a very big deal about alcohol in our country.  There is little tolerance for underage drinking (with certain legal allowances given to parents if they wish to serve beer or wine to their young adult sons or daughters), and parties involving minors are often busted by law enforcement.  


I have personally witnessed, in my high school days, a party being broken up by the police, at which point many attendants ran to their cars (presumably intoxicated) to get away.  Yes, this means they could have gotten into an accident and killed someone.  In the eyes of these then-youths, the imminent risk was an arrest, a loss of respect from the community, and a strained relationship with their parents once they found out their son or daughter was going out to parties drinking.  The risks involved with driving under the influence were completely diminished by such a surge of anxiety.


What needs to change in America is our attitude towards alcohol.  Whether we let them or not, minors will find a way to get their hands on alcoholic beverages.  A better society would teach them respect for these beverages, rather than make them enticingly taboo.

Craft beer helps control alcohol abuse - it's not common to slam down ten of these!
(Beer pictured is Brooklyn Blast, a rarely available double IPA)

Beer and wine (and mead) are some of the oldest, most historically and culturally relevant beverages in the world.  Respectable brewers and vintners invest huge amounts time, money, and love in fine-tuning their craft; too much for society to lump it into the same "big bad alcoholic beverages" category in which we place Natty Light and cheap vodka.  Respect for quality will help breed healthy attitudes in all aspects of life, including alcohol consumption.


If you haven't ever worked in a bar or restaurant, you may not realize how uptight bartenders, servers, managers, and restaurant owners have to be about making sure they don't serve to minors.  Do you know how you can tell a fake ID?  Do you know how you would handle yourself if you suspected someone who ordered an alcoholic beverage to be underage?  Well, there's sure not much of a way out of insulting them or pissing them off if you're wrong.  Still, I have to be a complete hard-ass regarding this topic, under threats of lawsuits, fines, and termination of employment/business.


So, all of that being said, if you are a minor planning on using a fake ID, don't go into my restaurant.  Let someone else deal with you until the laws change.  Sorry.




What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
-Chief Wiggum, The Simpsons